The God Must Be Crazy

I read this funny write up by G-Krishnan.

I was sitting in a coffee shop having some tea. It was rather empty at the time as I sat in one corner quietly sipping my teh. Suddenly, I heard a voice say: “Very sad, isn’t it? I can’t imagine what some people will do – and justify it in by invoking my name.”
I was shocked – I looked around but there was no one near me! “What’re you so terrified about,” said the voice. Now I started to really get scared.
“I am God – and I’m talking to you,” said the voice. I listened.
“This has to be a first. There have been a lot of atrocities in human history that have been justified by invoking my name. There have been genocides, wars, man-made famines, infanticide, honour killings, assassinations, hijackings, beheadings, persecutions, mindless bombings, executions, and all kinds of other madness carried out presumably in my name. Imagine – all that in order to honour me or presumably to serve me.”
I was very tense and sweating profusely. None of the attendants in the coffee shop noticed anything unusual or even glanced my way.
The voice went one: “But this is bizarre – and seems like a first: these people going bonkers about who can refer to me with what name. What is it with these people? Didn’t I give you all a mind so you may actually think – even a little?”
“Amazing! Truly amazing, I tell you,” is what I heard.
I just sat still; shell-shocked and by now wondering if I should just get up and leave.
“Do they not realize that I can take care of myself? After all, I’m God! I suppose it never crossed their minds that I am perfectly capable of deciding – when the time comes – who has insulted me and who has not; who called me by a name I found offensive and who dishonoured me. Really, do these people actually think I need mortals like them to protect my reputation and honour?
It’s obvious that these people have not grasped the extent to which they’ve developed an exaggerated sense of self-importance.”
"Madness! Utter madness."
I thought to myself: you won’t find me disagreeing with that!
G. Krishnan